It’s not easy to admit or even say that my running in many ways is similiar to many other addictions. When my running is great, I want more and more of it, regardless of the state of my body. When my runnng sucks I am solemn due the fact I didtnt get my high. And worse of all, without my drug, I become easiy aggitaded, depressed, and withdrawn.
I feel like most ultra runners can relate to that feeling of addiction. There is just something, some force, that draws us to the trail. Some people look at mountains and dread even thinking of walking up it and we get excited to catpult our bodies up it as fast as we can. For me thats normal and I have become accustom to eplaining to non runners my love for the hills and the long runs. People can even fathom the idea of running a 100 miles and maybe thats the draw. Maybe its not just about the next high its about doing thngs that set you apart. I never want to be defined by simplicity, I want someone to stumble over their words attempting to describe me.
For now I guess I will try to contain my addiction into a safe means of solitude, adventure, spiritual journey, and passion without destroying my body. I do it because I love it, it makes me feel complete, it makes me feel alive, and I do it for me….